deviant art

Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

More from *Cranberry413


×
LINK TO CHAPTER 1 IS BELOW

----------------------------------

Prologue:
The world as the human race knew it was already beginning its downward spiral toward what we now know it as. Education was going down the drain and those in power had everything and then some, while those like me drowned in what they called debt. Food became scarce for just about everyone, currency disappeared, and stealing became the norm. The rich were finally beginning to lose power because the poor were tired of being at the bottom of the food chain and those at the bottom get tired of losing after a while. Our kind began to revolt against those in power, but we didn't get very far…

Alien life forms who call themselves the Superiors came to Earth and suddenly our Earth as we once knew it was gone. The Superiors had opened their perfect planet to the rich and powerful citizens of Earth, but only as long as they could use Earth as their metaphoric trash bin. With the help of an entire race, those in power were able to regain control of Earth, and all of the lower classes, criminals, and Flaws were to be moved to Earth if they weren't already there, while the higher end citizens of Earth were relocated to Arcadia Silentium, the home planet of the Superiors. Imperfections do not exist in the minds of these human-like alien life forms and they needed somewhere to discard their Flaws. Earth fit exactly what they were looking for, so they took it. I've only heard rumors, but their planet is said to be perfect. Everything is beautiful, to match the Superiors' own appearances of course. It's said to resemble a Heaven, if one ever existed. But what's most important is that no one can be trusted anymore, not anyone.

In the end, it all comes down to you. Never forget that. If you're going to learn anything at all from life, it's that. Trust no one, love no one. It's a depressing fact but you choose life or love, fun or safety. In this place, all you have is tough decisions. That's what they depend on. They want you to make the wrong choice. That's when they make their move. They wait for you to get comfortable with your decision making skills, until you're so comfortable that you forget they ever existed. They're cunning, sly like foxes. You have to learn how to avoid them. And that's what I'm here for. I'm an outcast, a revolutionary. I made my choice long ago. It wasn't a happy choice, but I thought that if I chose life, to help others—those more ignorant & oblivious—the future generations might benefit. And although I may never live to see a happy day, I would rather everyone in the future be happy than just me, one little person. They tell you that you can't make a difference, but they lie. If you try, someone else may try, & then someone else after that & eventually it will all end—which is precisely what they don't want. So please, let me help you help the world. And remember: trust no one.

367

5 61 8
Download HTML download, 3.0 KB
COMMENTS WELCOME!!! I'd love to know what you guys think.
I'm not exactly sure I'll be using this as a prologue for my book, (I'll be twisting it around a LOT if I do) but whatever I do end up doing I would seriously LOVE any comments/opinions/critiques!

**All my literature posts are still works in progress, ignore the length. The chapter divisions are all improv at the moment (I have 39 pages, no chapters yet, so I'm just going with the flow here).

**All my works are to be credited to Cranberry413




**LINK TO CHAPTER 1: [link]

Details

Stats

Submitted on
June 24, 2012
File Size
3.0 KB
Views
367
Favourites
5 (who?)
Comments
61
Downloads
8

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
URL
Thumb
Only verified accounts can report policy violations. Please check your email and click on the verification link.
* Required field
Add a Comment:
 

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

love 1 1 joy 2 2 wow 2 2 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconalihutch:
*AliHutch Oct 21, 2012  Student Writer
Ooooh why haven't I started to read your story yet? *puts on to-do list*

This sounds like an awesome concept. There's all those books out now that are like ' rebel against the leaders, revolution, etc. etc.' and although yours sounds like it has an element of that, I really think that this is an awesomely original idea.

I can't wait to read it :XD:
Reply
:iconcranberry413:
I'm not sure, but I'm glad you commented! I appreciate it :)

Yeah, I'm trying something that will hopefully turn out a little differently than all those other stories. It's one of those stories that actually wasn't created from an idea, but from writer's block.. I started with the first thing that popped into my head and I just kept writing from there (this ended up being the last paragraph of my prologue :blushes:). Then I promptly forgot about it, and found it months later smashed at the bottom of my backpack. So I tried continuing it the same way I started it and BAM! I came up with this idea all from a random paragraph.

Aww, I appreciate it :) I still have the last few deviations you've posted sitting in my messages waiting for me to find the time to read them. Soon... Sometimes soon... I will get to them. :nod:
Reply
:iconalihutch:
*AliHutch Oct 21, 2012  Student Writer
Of course! I love commenting on things :D

Oh, really? I guess I've never had that happen to me before. All my writer's blocks are insufficient in any way at all. No ideas, no words or writing or anything... it's mostly laziness, actually. Anyways! That's cool how you got it during a writer's block. No idea is a bad one! And I love how you found it like months later, that's actually happened to me before. Sometimes I find two old pieces of writing, I smash them together, and suddenly it's a whole new story! :dummy:

I just read the chapter 2, I believe. I guess I have some catching up to do on your novel.

Question. How do you feel about posting your book online? Because I'm always nervous someone is going to steal mine or something! :O
Reply
:iconcranberry413:
I do too, which is why it always takes me forever to get to people's things... I try to give good feedback so it always takes times to write a comment and I'm always like 'ehhh... I'm tired. Reading is easy... Commenting? What is this nonsense you speak of?!' :blush:

This was the second time (which is precisely why I tried it :P). Although the first time wasn't really writer's block... Just more of a... 'Hey, I need an idea and I need one now' kinda thing so I wrote the first sentence to pop into my head and then made an idea from that. :D Oh I love the smashing together of ideas. That's always fun! :excited:

haha that's fine. No obligations :aww:

Yeah, I am actually nervous about it... But I figure if someone does end up stealing it I'm willing to go through the legalities and fight for it :aww: I just want feedback from people other than my family. I've asked my friends but none of them really seem interested in the fact that I'm working on a book... One of them was really supportive when I started, but she got maybe 2 chapters in and then conveniently 'forgot' about it and hasn't tried taking the time to catch up since then so I just gave up on them. :XD:
Reply
:iconalihutch:
*AliHutch Oct 21, 2012  Student Writer
Yeah sometimes when I'm really tired or something I get lazy and I'm like: 'Um... it can wait... heh' I don't like it when I get a lot of faves on things and no one comments. I like comments better than faves. I remember when I first got on here every comment I received I got all happy and jittery :XD:

You know, I should try that sometime, but I have three or four ideas already. My novel I'm taking a break on, the novel for NaNoWriMo, and wait... :O Three more ideas other than that I have just scribbled down in my notebook, lol.

Yeah, that's true. With all the hard work we put in to our novels... I would fight for it. Oh I know what you mean. I don't share mine all that much with my family, because no one in my family except for my oldest brother likes the genre I write. And my oldest brother, though he's a writer, is in college so he has no time to read what I write. :shrug: I have two friends, my 'noveling' buddies. They are both participating in NaNoWriMo, one has already a novel she's started on, so they get it... though there isn't much feedback I get from them, but that's okay. I think it's because I don't give them a sheet and say, 'write down feedback as you read'. We actually read it to each other out loud... so I guess it's hard to give feedback that way...

I'm not making sense.
Reply
:iconcranberry413:
Same here! I still do when I get a comment with anything more than just "hey, good stuff". :XD:

I have the one, and a few short stories I've done for contests on another site that I'm planning on (hopefully... someday) continuing, even if it's just a longer short story. :P

My dad seems to be interested (kinda :?) but he 'never has time' to read it. And my mom is supportive but she says she'd rather wait to read it when I'm done. I do have one friend who's already finished a novel and she's planning on publishing a digital version on Amazon, but I don't get the impression she really cares about mine. Oh, I forgot I have another friend who seemed pretty interested in my story when I started and I let her read some of it but I didn't want her reading all of it so I kinda blocked her from seeing it (this was before I typed it all up) and she seems to have lost interest..
No, I get what you're saying :) That's actually a cool idea. I'll have to try that with someone...
Reply
:iconalihutch:
*AliHutch Oct 22, 2012  Student Writer
Oh really? secretly agrees

Oh cool! You sound like me... I also have a few other stories, but I'll probably never finish them. My head is filled with too many other ideas...

Aw... it's frustrating when people only care about what they're doing not anyone else. I know a few people like that, I'll admit it gets kind of on my nerves. Well, you know if she was originally interested then she may be interested once more if you show her again. ^^

Yeah, you should. First off, it kind of ensures the person is engaged in it (well that's a lie. Sometimes people are doing something while you're reading which is way irking) But it helps to read things out loud, and it's kind of fun, too. We usually don't just hand it to each other to read, it's always out loud :)
Reply
:iconcranberry413:
haha it's ok ;)

Same here... It's a dream though.

Yeah, it is frustrating, but it's kind of the norm so it's no big deal really. I'll consider trying it again though! I'm seeing her on Sunday so who knows :)

I'll have to start a writer's club in school or something. This sounds like fun, but I'd feel bad having friends listen to me and then not reciprocating it since none of them write.. :P
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconskycherry:
Mood: Overwhelmed ~Skycherry Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
OMG EPIC
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE WRITE MORE
Reply
:iconcranberry413:
Wow, thanks :love:
I've got plenty more up right now & I'm hoping to get chapter 18 up soon. :)
Reply
Add a Comment: